He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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