if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
as a side note pls kill me
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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