rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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