He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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