We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
