we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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