idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
