You're so nebulous sometimes
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Iām going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
