have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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