apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
