1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
