i just google imaged poop.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
