So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
