i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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