Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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