I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
