I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
