when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
where are my eyebrows?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
