I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
