...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
