I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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