A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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