i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
