What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
