I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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