Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
