I wanna passion pit in your ass
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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