I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Blood and glitter go together right?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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