Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
