When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
