The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
