Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
