Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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