would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
