We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
