look no pants
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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