Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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