so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
