I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
