Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize