my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
