You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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