She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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