Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
