my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
