3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
