The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
