Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
