I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
