I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
