JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
